Andrew Bynum returns, and may actually play in Philadelphia! Finally.

November 08, 2013


Tonight, The 76ers will pay homage to the best center the team has had since Shawn Bradley. The Sixers will welcome center Andrew Bynum back to the Wells Fargo Center, as they try to end their 2 game skid hosting the Cavs. When Bynum is announced, the city will unofficially induct him into an infamous group of the most hated athletes in Philadelphia sports history.

Andrew Bynum will join the ranks of Scott Rolen, Sidney Crosby, Santa Claus, and anyone to wear a NY Giant or Dallas Cowboy jersey. Bynum, came to Philadelphia, to fill a hole they have had since Dikembe Mutombo last wore a Sixers jersey. The 76ers were ready to build a championship contending team, and they started by inking Bynum to a contract that reflected they would be building it around him. While the Sixers were trying to makes moves to put themselves into a spot to compete with The Heat and The Bulls in the East, Andrew Bynum, had other priorities. Bynum was more concerned with strikes and spares, then he was prestige, titles, and no longer being a “Toys-R-Us Kid”. It wasn’t that he never played a single game, it wasn’t that we didn’t want to see him succeed; it was the fact that he handled the situation with such total disregard, and immaturity, that he propelled himself into rarified air. Andrew... You have no idea what a career as a great Philadelphia athlete will bring you. We have monuments to FICTIONAL PHILADELPHIA ATHLETES! (check out our Rocky Statue Tees!) Now you are going to experience what being a terrible Philadelphia athlete brings you. For your safety I hope that security is searching for batteries before the game.

All I know, is when The Cavaliers take the court, I will be taking Terrell Owens’ advice. I will have my popcorn ready, and I cannot wait to see the reception he gets taking the court. If you make it out of Philadelphia alive tonight, we will see you in Cleveland tomorrow.

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